I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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