You're my little dorito
I just pynch a tree in the face
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Randomize
