why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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