Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
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