his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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