# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
