The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
