I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Randomize
