He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
