Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Just puked most of my soul out..
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
