If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
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