I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
