i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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