hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
