You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Randomize
