dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize