I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
