the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
