They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
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