Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
NoShamevember. You game?
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
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