i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
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