Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
