Midget sex pt 2 tonight
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Randomize
