he thought i was a dude.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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