i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
