We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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