You don't have asthma, your pregnant
I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I yelled at your uterus for you.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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