Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I'd wear matching sweaters with you
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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