I met the friendliest cop last night
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
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