Me. At least after what I've been through.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize
