I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Randomize
