I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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