So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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