I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
