So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Randomize
