I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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