i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
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