Just mADE A PArabola og urine
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
