is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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