Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Randomize
