I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I think I am morally bankrupt
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
