I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
this must be what syphilis tastes like
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
