you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
