arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
Randomize
