party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Randomize
