You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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