i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
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