U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
