speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
you have to choose: penises or morals?
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize