sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
