I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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