I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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