this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
The struggles of a small town man whore
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize
