Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
