it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
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