its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Randomize
