he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Randomize