does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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