At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
