I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
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