This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Randomize