We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
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