we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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