Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
