Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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