mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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