I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
