So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
