he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
