I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
