OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Randomize
